


and i'm passing through your life

by TheFledglingDM



Series: and i follow just to find you [1]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst and Feels, Bittersweet Ending, Kurapika Needs a Hug, M/M, Missing Scene, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Post-Chairman Election Arc, Pre-Dark Continent Arc, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:41:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25592953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFledglingDM/pseuds/TheFledglingDM
Summary: Inspired by a tumblr prompt: "Things you said when you thought I was asleep."___Leorio takes a nap prepping for the trek to the Dark Continent. Kurapika just wants some coffee.
Relationships: Kurapika/Leorio Paladiknight
Series: and i follow just to find you [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2014648
Comments: 39
Kudos: 200





	and i'm passing through your life

**Author's Note:**

> aaaaa a huge shout-out to tumblr user squidcalamarium for this ask!!!!
> 
> fic title taken from king princess's song "thinking about you" because the leopika fandom shares a brain cell and a playlist i guess

There were some immutable facts about the universe.

The inevitability of death and taxes was one. That whatever you were looking for was going to be in the literal last place you thought to search for it was a second. The great _quid pro quo_ of something for something, be it time or money or knowledge, that kept the world going ‘round, was a third.

A fourth was the miserable, depressing, exhausting, blood-sucking, soul-crushing, existence-defining realities of _medical school._

It would have been hard enough in the best of circumstances, Leorio figured. Because between classes, labs, practicums, homework, exams, and the endless marathon of studying for _more,_ Leorio had to be a _hunter._ Had to take on jobs and learn nen and accidentally adopt two hellion teens and participate in stupid things like chairman elections. And then _that_ led to the verifiable hell-in-a-handbasket that was almost _being elected chairman_ for punching one adopted son’s dad on national television.

(It was probably the highlight of Leorio’s short, far-too-exciting life thus far, if he was honest. The way Ging had stared like a fool into the small vortex on the table, like Luke looking down the business end of a lightsaber, the satisfying _crunch_ of his nose under Leorio’s fist, the way the man went _flying –_

Good times, truly.)

Except then that opened the Pandora’s Box of the aforementioned chairman elections. Which then led to the Zodiacs. The Black Whale expedition to the Dark Continent. The chance of a lifetime, to study and practice under _the_ Dr. Cheadle Yorkshire.

Kurapika was back.

But that was all too much to take in, especially considering Leorio was running on six hours of sleep over the past two days. There was just _so much to do_ – assemble supplies, arrange their resources across the ship, assist in the mindgames relating to the minefield that was Beyond Netero and the Kakin Empire, help create and administer a new Hunter Exam, finish his assignments, take three exams early, pack his bags, find someone to sublet his apartment –

 _Twenty minutes,_ Leorio promised himself as he collapsed down on the couch in the Zodiac’s break room. The place had such luxuries as a fancy coffee maker _and_ a regular pot, a vending machine that served real food, and a couch made of buttery leather and cushions so soft Leorio felt like he was melting into the frame when he lay down. He was too tired to even grab at the throw blanket slung over the back of the couch. It was long enough he could kick up the three miles of stick legs he had going on. He grabbed the sleep mask he’d picked up from the dollar store that had saved his life more than Killua, Gon, Kurapika, and his own nen combined and slapped it over his eyes.

He was out in five breaths.

Some time later, however – Leorio was unsure how long he’d been out – he was awoken by the sound of the door opening and lights flicking on. His mask kept the worst of the burst of light at bay, fortunately. He had half a mind to ask whoever the hell else was up at three o’clock in the morning to kindly fuck off, please, but the familiar scent of mint and the even-more-familiar voice made him freeze.

“I _do not care_ what Miss Neon thinks,” Kurapika was hissing into the phone. “I am telling you that the Black Whale is going to be an overcrowded security _nightmare,_ not a pleasure cruise. I truly do not think we could even procure a ticket for her, and no, Basho, I am not going to try. I have my hands plenty full enough with trying to keep the Association from infiltration by outside influences.” There was a long pause. “Yes, that would be best. Thank you, Basho. I apologize for my tone. I will see you at the next meeting.” Another pause. “Yes, you should sleep. Good-night.”

A faint _beep_ of the call ending. Leorio wondered if he was really awake or if he was just dreaming that he was the closest he had been to Kurapika in over a year. He wondered if he should reveal he was awake.

“Oh,” Kurapika said, and Leorio knew that was the first time Kurapika had even noticed he was there. The single word was surprise and confusion and borderline disappointment all at once. “Leorio?”

Light footsteps, like Kurapika was stepping closer to him. A beat.

“Still sleeping with your mouth open, I see. And you did not even notice me… it’s a wonder you’ve lived this long.”

It took every ounce of Leorio’s not-admirable self-control not to snap his mouth shut or bolt up and say that Kurapika had absolutely no legs to stand on when it came to handling the miracle of life after age eighteen. But then Kurapika huffed out a sound best described as the distant cousin of, or the echo of an echo of, a laugh.

It was exhausted. Heartbreaking. Fond. And the most Kurapika had sounded like himself since the Hunter Exam.

“Fool man.”

More footsteps and shuffling. Leorio heard the sounds of cabinets opening and closing softly as Kurapika did his best not to wake him. There was the sound of rustling plastic, of water running, of the coffee pot being put on to percolate.

More rustling. Leorio could picture Kurapika walking back to his spot eyeing Leorio’s prone body. Maybe he was thinking about putting him out of his misery. Maybe he was folding his arms, a droll smile on his lips Leorio hadn’t seen since Yorknew. Maybe he was leaning against the break room table or sitting on top of it.

“You probably think I hate you,” Kurapika mused. “Some days, I think I do, too.”

Okay, so Leorio was definitely _not_ dreaming. The little prick. Took the chance to say whatever he needed to get off his chest the second he thought Leorio was in a position to not respond. Fine. Whatever. Leorio could play at that. And when Kurapika finished whatever the hell his little monologue was, Leorio would pop up and deck him and yell at him for being a self-isolating, melodramatic jackass.

“Except I don’t,” Kurapika said, and Leorio’s brain came to a screeching halt. “I don’t think I could if I tried. And I know because I did try. And we know how well that turned out.”

The Hunter Exam. The boat. The tower. The island. They tried to hate each other and wound up staunch allies and friends anyway. Leorio had thought that Kurapika had dropped them all for the sake of his revenge, vanishing into the criminal underworld the second he had his Hunter license in hand. Little as the act seemed to coincide with what he’d gleamed of Kurapika’s character. But if he wanted to be a lone wolf about the whole thing, fine. Leorio could pick his battles. Allegedly.

“I tried to reach out once,” Kurapika said. “I knew I needed help, that I wasn’t strong enough to take on the Phantom Troupe alone. But when I did…you know what happened.”

Leorio did know. The disaster that was _everything_ about the Yorknew auction. Neon had her nen stolen. Gon and Killua were kidnapped. Hisoka was there.

All things that were not Kurapika’s fault, that he blamed himself for anyway.

“If anything had happened to Gon or Killua, or to you…” Kurapika trailed off. “It was too risky. I could give everything I had to my quest, but I could not drag you all down with me. I didn’t want any of you hurt, but you were anyway. I needed to be stronger on my own, so I became stronger.”

Leorio tallied that one to the list of _ominous, dramatic things Kurapika has said that will be a headache later._

“I thought if I pulled away, you all would let me be. Killua and Gon did. I thought they were off traveling the world on their adventures, blissfully unaware of the husk of myself I was becoming. As I anticipated, their calls and emails tapered off eventually.”

Leorio heard Kurapika swallow. His voice was thicker when he went on. “But yours never did. You call often. Even when I don’t pick up. Even when I read your texts and I don’t answer, you keep reaching out. I wish I knew why. I wish I didn’t. Because I wonder to myself how someone like me could earn the affection and friendship of someone like you.”

Kurapika laughed humorlessly. “In my world, affection is weakness if you haven’t the strength to back it up. I don’t have that strength. I only have the will to stay away, because that’s the best way to protect you all. So I hole myself up with the eyes of my family and tell myself I will deal with the rest when my quest is over. Even if I have nothing planned after that. Even if I _plan_ for nothing after that.”

Leorio picked up on Kurapika’s meaning, and something like an anvil dropped into his stomach. The emotion in Kurapika’s voice was palpable, raw and real in the way that only solitude at 3am and exhaustion and the confessional could inspire.

“And then there was Mizai,” Kurapika said softly. “Walking into my office. Telling me he knew how to find the last of the eyes. And it’s because of you.

“Every time I think I’ve hit a wall, I find you, and you smash through everything. Utterly graceless, utterly foolish, utterly clueless. Utterly perfect in your timing and delivery. I thought I had nothing to look forward to or turn to. And then there you were. How presumptive of me to think you might still be there for me, after all is said and done.”

The coffee maker beeped, announcing its job was complete. The room smelled of rich, expensive dark roast, the kind Leorio would have killed for back at school. Kurapika shuffled, like he was rising to his feet again.

“I wish things had been different,” Kurapika whispered. “I wish I had met you a less broken man. I wish my eyes changing when you call was a simple fact of my life and not a catastrophe. I wish our paths crossing was something more than a brief intersection of our lives, me on my downward swing and you on a forever upward trajectory.

“Anything you do, Leorio, you are amazing. You _will be_ amazing. As a chairman or a doctor or both, you will be loved and respected. I know you can’t hear me, but just know…” Kurapika swallowed.

Kurapika shuffled, stepping towards Leorio’s slack-limbed form on the couch. Leorio sensed him reaching for something, and a moment later, the downy softness of the throw blanket was settled over his torso with the tenderness of a lover.

Kurapika’s fingers, light and cold, brushed at Leorio’s hairline. “Whatever you do, wherever you go, you will shine. I want you to know that you deserve it. I want you to know I’ll be watching from the shadows, immeasurably, unspeakably proud.”

With that he retreated, leaving that cloud of subtle mint behind. Leorio heard him sniffle softly as he poured himself a cup of coffee and prepared it however he liked. A splash of creamer and a single sugar packet, if Leorio’s memory was accurate.

The door shut quietly behind him. Leorio waited a few breaths to be sure he was alone, and then he tugged off his eye mask. He stared sightlessly up at the dark ceiling, his eyes, face, and neck damp.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!! please drop a kudos/comment if you like. you can hmu at notantherwritingblog.tumblr.com.


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